Conquer Your Fear Of Travel

Conquer your mountain of fear of travel

When I was planning my career break, I happened to discuss it with a few people including my next door neighbour.  He looked at me as if I had gone mad and exclaimed, “You might get murdered if you go off on your own in a foreign country.”  I considered his words carefully.  Statistically, the chances of getting murdered was very slim and you are more likely to have harm done to you by a close friend or family member than a stranger. I should know as I worked in a lifer prison for a long time and statistically most people were killed by people by either a partner, a close family member or a very close friend.

So, what is it that makes us never take a calculated risk? Answer is FEAR. Fear of the unknown and the need to cling to safe territory. The second  rung of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs where we cling on to safety with all of our might. The truth is we are never truly safe.  Ever.  We cling to our jobs but they are never truly secure. We attempt to make life safe with insurance plans and pension plans , but in the end none of us are immune to the frailties of life. Please don't think I am advocating not saving or putting away some money for a rainy day, but I hope you get the gist of what I am trying to say.

People will never attempt something new for fear of the consequences and they will project their own fears on to you. Like my neighbour for example who never had ventured out of Britain for fear of the unknown.

Perhaps you have been disappointed in life.  Maybe you have a failed business venture, a relationship turned sour or a death of a loved one which has coloured your lens of the world. Your trust in humanity has reached the bottom of the barrel and there is nowhere else to go. The ashes of depression eats away at your soul and relentless ghostly whispers invade your private thoughts saying, “ If only you had done better or tried harder…”

You know what I am talking about. We have all been there at one point or another in our lives. Whatever facade you put out to the world, you know who you really are.

1.       Learn that it is YOU who is thinking these thoughts. Thoughts are not reality. Ever seen how a single event can be looked at with different points of view for many people? That’s because their perspective of the event is different.

2.       Learning to be kind to yourself. Accept that you are going to have doubts as to whether you can really do something different.

3.       Take some steps in courage. If you found it difficult to travel alone by yourself try a mini break in a different town in your own country. I went on a mini break by myself to Amsterdam and found that even if I did get lost and couldn't speak the language I could come back in one piece. That paved the way for more adventurous travel.

I remember going to Malaysia a few years back and I ended up staying in a remote part of Khota Bharu. The Chinese hosts were really kind to me. In fact it helped me to restore my faith in humanity.

Once I took a ferry ride to Vancouver Island and got lost and a kind lady drove me 17 miles out of her way so that I could go to where I wanted.  Another time I was walking in the rain getting drenched and some people offered me lunch. I have also been offered accommodation by people I hardly know. For me these are just simple examples of people whom I've met and helped me on my travels. It has definitely changed my perceptions of the world.

Despite what the newspapers say about the state of the world today, there are wonderful and kind people all over the world and I am truly blessed to have met some of them. For that I say, "Thank You."

I've really enjoyed reading the blog of Sean Reiland who talks more about "Stepping into uncertainty." He voices some of the thoughts that I had when I stepped off  into the unknown.

Must See European Destination: Tallinn

Girl dressed in medieval costume

Tallinn's Old Town with its red turrets

Ask any seasoned traveller who has to been Estonia's capital city Tallinn and they will all share their love of  a city filled with medieval history, quirky cafes and lively bars.
I was lucky that my Irish friend Tony lived there to show me around and give me hints on exploring this wonderful city. His best piece of advice was to make sure I looked up at the top of the building so  I would not miss some distinctive feature in Tallinn's Old Town.

Alexander Nevsky Cathedral

Walking around the Old Town was like stepping into the pages of a history book. Locals dressed in medieval costumes and horses clip clopping on the cobbled stones gave an impression of what it must have been like to live in bygone era. Enticing smells came wafting through the open doors of the cafes and artisan shops, including the smell of marzipan, coffee and freshly baked patisseries.

Wandering around the old city wall was a nice way of soaking up the atmosphere and thinking about the city's history which dates back to the 13th century and which had been under the influence of the Danes, Germans, Swedes and Russians. It is also a designated UNESCO world heritage site.  The distinctive red roofs of the houses and red turrets of the castle wall makes it unmistakable in any travel magazine.

Some of the interesting places to explore include St. Catherine's passage   which is a little walkway where you can find tombstones of people in between artisan shops. A walk between life and death... Still, a very interesting place to explore.

Worthy of a visit is also Kadriogg palace and the Alexander Nevsky cathedral which is famous as it is Tallin's oldest cathedral. Opulent in the inside, it was made according to the Russian Revival style during 1894 and 1900.

If you are feeling hungry at this stage then a stop at the Kompressor is a must. I have never eaten pancakes like the way this shop offers. Savoury mixtures from salmon and cream fillings to the more sweet toothed variety is on offer along with good quantities of local beer and spirits.

Period century costume  Roco Al Mare Museum

Some of Tony's friends got together and we all decided to go to the Open Air Museum called Roco Al Mare. Situated a few miles out of the city in a forest by the sea, it is a life sized construction of  a 18 century fishing village.  Complete with a school, a church and several houses it made you think of what it must have been like to live in that part of the century.

An Estonian custom was to leave a broom at the entrance to the house so that neighbours knew you were in. If you decided to go out then the broom must come indoors to let everyone know that you were not in. Obviously, they didn't have burglars in those days.

An evening barbecue party with different friends bringing delicious food to share was probably a nice way of rounding up my Tallinn adventure. It was also mandatory to try the local rum Vanna Tallinn, which was a mixture of Jamaican rum with a hint of spices including citrus oil, cinnamon and vanilla. Cheers everyone!

Easter Break in Estonia

Hiimuaa Island

The weather is damp and gloomy as I sit and write this blog at the start of my Easter break. It reminds me of the great British weather

I cast my mind back to a time when I was travelling to Estonia and went to visit my friends who lived on Hiimuaa Island. Where is that you ask? It is Estonia’s second largest island and in the winter the ice hardens and freezes so that people from the mainland can drive over the frozen Baltic Sea to reach it. This includes trucks that weigh quite a considerable amount. No, the ice road wasn't there when I went to Hiimuaa, but it was a lovely spring day as I took the ferry and another bus to reach my friends who lived there.

On their kitchen table was a beautiful display of flowers and Easter bunnies that the kids had made. It was a real pity that I could not communicate with the children as they didn't know any English but the language of smiles reaches across all cultures.

Soviet bunkers - Hiimuaa Island

I went outside by myself to explore. The spring flowers were just putting their heads out in the warm sunshine and the sea sparkled and glistened as if it was offering me a palette of many colourful jewels. I walked along the beach feeling the saltiness of the spray and skimmed some pebbles into the sea. I was alone in my thoughts, but pondered the history of the island which was quite different to its present day calm atmosphere.

Early human settlements were found on the island dating back to 4 century B.C. It has also been under the jurisdiction of both the Soviet Union and Germany during World Wars I & II. It was hard to imagine that I could wander about so freely and yet at another time the island was closed to mainland dwellers and foreigners. Examining some bunkers made in the times of the Soviet occupation brought this sharply to my mind.

Fishing trip with friends

If you come to Hiimuaa, it’s because you love nature for there are no bars and clubs anywhere. We took a car ride across the island and watched in silence at the antics of some moose and elk. Did you know that elk  have antlers for only two weeks of the year to attract a mate?

My friends said that often islanders offer to take in a stranded tourist who had missed the last ferry back to the mainland. Perhaps it’s because of this trait that I found the island fascinating. Listening to some people’s personal histories as to what happened during the war years and yet offer hospitality and trust to strangers was remarkable in a day when common decency is fast disappearing.

In the evening we went out in a boat to do some fishing and sat in companionable silence as the sun set cast its final glow across a dead calm sea. It’s one of those moments when you feel at peace with the world and yourself.